Raising Your "Spirited Child", Without Going off the Parenting Deep End!

Over 200 pairs of eyes are glued to me as a spirited child screams, "ORDER ME MY MEAL NOW!"

This child has refused to order his own hamburger (as he has done many times before) and when I calmly tell him he can either order it himself, or go home without his burger, he goes completely berserk. Yes, I have entered into a “food fare nightmare"—with my formidable opponent, an eight year old child.

I feel my cheeks flush as public onlookers wait in complete stunned silence to see who will win—the big one or the little one?

The Four Parenting Keys to Taming Your Spirited Child

Surprisingly, over my years as a family counselor, I have come to love working with spirited children. These children have a fire in their belly, a spark in their eye and a feisty attitude that assures their future in walking to the beat of their own drum instead of blindly following the crowd—a trait many parents hope for during the teen years. Yet that day in the food fare I was worn out, embarrassed and on the verge of saying "I quit!"

Raising your spirited child can be exhausting. Fortunately for me, I learned some commonsense parenting tools that eliminated nearly all future fights. Allow me to share some of these parenting tips that can support your efforts in taming your spirited child.

Raising your spirited child with these four parenting tips can help you navigate the emotional mine field successfully:

1. Use consistency. Follow through on EVERYTHING you say. Spirited children are gifted at manipulating "chances" and finding loopholes to obtaining exactly what they want. Hold your ground as calmly and firmly as possible—whatever you do, don’t back down.

2. Talk less and act more. This works well, because when you get into a debate with a spirited child you are certain to lose! This is why in my "food fare nightmare" example above I gave two simple options; to order the hamburger or go home without it (the talking less part); and then silently waited (the action part).

3. Develop patience. Waiting out a fight without saying anything (especially if a temper tantrum erupts in public) can be one of the most difficult, yet important, things you ever do as a parent. Spirited children are bright—they know that the biggest weapon in their arsenal is to push your embarrassment button. Swallow your pride—do not cave in just because you think you look bad in public. Remember if you cave in, your child will learn to use this trump card every time they want their way in a public setting.

4. Take time out for yourself. Parenting children is exhausting (especially a feisty child). Find little ways to take time out yourself (share child care with a friend, hire a babysitter more, use extra hours at daycare) so you will have more energy and patience to draw from during the trying situations.

What Does the Future Hold for Your Spirited Child?

These commonsense parenting tools tame the negative opposition, but let their beautiful spirit flourish. If you attempt to use traditional discipline practices and make your child do what you want, you face an un-winnable uphill battle.

Fortunately, commonsense parenting does not mean letting your child get away with murder! A commonsense approach uses firm boundaries, mutual respect and discipline—teaching a child to naturally learn and grow from their mistakes rather than fight you every step of the way.

In the midst of your next fight, you may wonder if there will be an end to the madness. I am here to tell you that there will be a resolution to your current dramas. In my case, these tips allowed me to triumph and actually enjoy raising a spirited child.

This same child who gave award-winning temper tantrum performances in public and could bring me to my knees is now a responsible, respectful and enjoyable 17 year old college student whose year ahead is completely paid by scholarships won. For me and him, we both won in the end. May it also be the same for you.

When taming your spirited child remember to keep the faith, learn commonsense parenting tips and know that eventually if you follow the basic principles above "this too shall pass."

article source:

Kelly Nault-Matzen, MA, family counselor, corporate parenting spokesperson and award winning parenting author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! To gain access to more parenting tools and to access your free online parenting course visit http://www.ultimateparenting.com

Writing What You Want To Write: Personal Innovation

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. - Dale Carnegie

Some of the special skills discussed in writing may have you feeling as if there is really no room for expressing your own personality in your writing. However, there is always a misunderstood need for personal innovation in storytelling. There will always be intriguing stories that defy conventional wisdom.

Children's author Pamela Jane struggled with the advice she was receiving from others in the field of children's literature. The suggestion was that Pamela should write about the subjects she knew. She was advised to avoid stories about dolls, fantasy and seasonal titles.

As it turns out, Pamela had just written a story about a doll she had owned as a child and the imagination she used to convey a fantasy Christmas story.

Pamela angrily accepted the advise of her writing friends and set the story aside. However, another friend encouraged her to at least explore the possibility of publishing the story.

"I decided to send it to an obscure regional publisher who might not have heard that seasonal doll fantasies were passé," says Pamela. However, before the work could be reviewed Pamela was encouraged to send it to a major publishing house.

Pamela did not follow the normal pattern for children's literature and she did not follow the accepted pattern for cover letters.

The query simply read, "It's a Christmas fantasy about a little girl and a ballet doll." Pamela assumed it would to be an automatic refusal so she didn't attempt to put her best foot forward.

The editor that looked at her sparse cover letter responded with four words that defied the odds, "Please send your story."

That story, "Noelle of the Nutcracker", became the first of more than twenty children's books for Pamela Jane. While she has had more conventional books, her first was one that helped Pamela see that sometimes writing does not need to follow a prescribed formula to connect with a reader.

There are no guarantees in writing, however if you have something that you really believe in follow through with it even if the experts insist you might have it wrong. Accept their advice and then do what you feel you have to do. You might just have a success hiding away on a shelf somewhere.

article source

Scott Lindsay is a web developer and entrepreneur. He is the founder of FaithWriters (http://www.faithwriters.com) and many other web projects. FaithWriters has grown to become one of the largest online destinations for Christian writers. Please visit the website at: http://www.faithwriters.com.

Self Improvement, Success And Self Approval

Every one of us is involved in some for of self improvement or personal development. This is true of you whether it is something you currently realise or not! If you have any desires, dreams or goals then you are striving to better yourself, your environment or your world and this we call self improvement.

However, there is one key area of your life that stops you from progressing in a fast and effective manner towards your desires, dreams and goals. I will now highlight this obstacle and show you how to effectively remove it forever so that you can create the life you want!

One of the worst things you can do when you need to motivate yourself to reach your long held goals and dreams is to criticize yourself. This is a pattern that has been taught to you since you were very young with school tests, grading, placement in your class and class evaluations. Teachers, parents and peers constantly compared you to others as if that was a way of gauging your true worth. This kind of personal evaluation probably continues to this day with employment superiors over-viewing your work, progress and most likely conducting some form of personal evaluation.

This view of assessing your strengths and weaknesses, although probably well-intentioned, has set a pattern within your own mind for self-criticism and self-doubt. Are you in a perpetual state of comparison? Do you find yourslef comparing how you perform to the performance of other people? Do you beat yourself up for not having attained the same level of success as those around you or those you view from afar? Are you disappointed in yourself when you fail to achieve exactly what you set out to achieve in the time you gave yourself?

Being self-critical can cause untold damage in your life. Criticism, regardless of what area of yourself or your life you have focused it, has a ripple effect that damages all other areas. By believing you are less than you should be you are sending a very strong message to your subconscious mind that you are just not good enough. Such a belief halts your progress towards your desires. It leaves you feeling frustrated and extremely unhappy. If you are really and truly not good enough then how could you ever change anything? If you are not good enough then there can be no way for you to change yourself, your circumstances or your life.

The first step to overcoming this self-defeating pattern of thinking and feeling is to become aware that it is there. Look carefully at yourself and how you interact with yourself internally. Notice when you have a tendency to berate yourself. When you notice yourself comparing your behaviour, talents, abilities or results to those of someone else immediately stop. Only judge your own performance. If you must compare yourself to anyone then compare yourself with yourself. Look for how you have improved. If you give a task everything you've got and do your best then you are already a success regardless of the outcome. You have stretched yourself and your personal self-imposed boundaries.

Keep a journal of all your goals and list the success you have already created. When you can look back at where you once were and see the improvement that you have made personally then your confidence will be increased and your self-esteem will rocket. If you compare yourself to someone else then bare in mind that you do not know the other person's circumstances. You do not know what advantages they had when they began, so comparing yourself to them is a futile exercise. Even if these people did overcome serious adversity to achieve the same things that you now want take it as a positive sign. If they did it then so can you!

Try to encourage yourself when you are faced with a challenge. The difference between internal criticism and internal encouragement can mean the difference between a life of fear, dread, discouragement, pain, frustration and a life filled with abundance, joy, peace and harmony.

Giving yourself approval takes practise, so start right now. If you look at what you are doing when you criticize yourself it is really a form of self-disapproval. Approving and disapproving are just choices. You make them internally and you can re-make them in a different way. Approving of yourself is just a choice ' make that choice now!

Give yourself approval just because you can. Many times we disapprove of ourselves and others for little or no reason so turn that around. Begin to give yourself approval just because you are you. Can you imagine how differently you will view the world through the eyes of self-approval? Can you guess what kind of strides forward you can make in your life with an internal voice of encouragement? Do you think you, your family, friends and work colleges would benefit from you taking this new radical approach to how you view yourself?

If you take this approach to yourself the progress you make will astound you and you will find yourself happier, more peaceful and will undoubtedly be surprised at what life gives you back. Your personal development is assured!

article source

Michael McGrath

For free reviews of the best Personal Development products we tested and to finally find out what really works go to http://www.angelfire.com/wizard2/release/personaldevelopment/.

Find a Reason to Smile More with Fun Sites

Are we losing out the fun from our lives? Is the mad rat race squeezing out the humor from our lives? Humor is the all essential ingredient for leading a healthy, positive life.The monotony of existence, the same old routine of everyday-sprinkle humor onto it and the drudgery of life becomes more bearable. When we are hanging out with friends and having a good laugh, for those few precious moments we are able to leave behind all the worries, pains, and pressures of existence. So what do you do when you are badly in need of a good laugh? As it is the medium we turn to for almost everything, the answer here is again the internet. And the internet has plenty of sites that will bring an instant smile to your faces. Fun sites, as they are categorized as, are a treasure trove of humor videos, pictures, games, puzzles, riddles and tons more, that will entertain you and captivate you.

Once hooked on to these sites, you would not even realize how time will fly. It is like hanging out with your buddies again, laughing, enjoying and having fun. There is so much to choose from at these sites, from funny videos to music to games and more. Once you find yourself in the world of fun sites it is hard to let go. These sites have a legion of dedicated fans that are growing everyday. Sensing their popularity among net users, there are now tons of fun sites available and more are being added every day.

Fun sites not only provide hours of amusement for you, they are also a forum where you can meet and interact with other fans of such fun sites. Upload your funny videos and share it with other users or challenge them to a game and you will no longer feel starved for fun company.

Fun sites not only provide entertainment but can be educational too. There are a number of fun sites available for children that make learning fun, through games, puzzles etc. Do you need your daily dose of entertainment news? Well fun sites cater to that too. All that you need to drive the blues away, you will find at these fun sites.

As they say it costs nothing to smile, but it will brighten up your day, so smile more and spread the joy around.Fun sites give you the opportunity to bring the humor back to your lives and more and more people are turning to these sites to get their daily dose of fun. You can jump on the bandwagon too and enjoy the joyride -that is fun sites.

About The Author

Diana Daniels is an expert in search engine marketing with years of experience in the industry.

http://www.funzooz.com