Thinking and emotion go hand in hand. A negative mood activates negative thinking and a positive mood calls forth positive thinking. Does it matter if you are in a negative mood thinking negative thoughts or in a positive mood thinking positive thoughts? Is one better than the other? Is there value in thinking and feeling positive? Emotions Have Evolutionary Value Negative emotions have evolutionary value. Negative emotions like fear, loss, and aggression activate the flight or fight response. When we experience negative emotions, we have a feeling of aversion, which sets us on course to identify what is wrong and eliminate it. Negative emotions and thinking are associated with a survival alert that activates a reaction to fight, flight or conserve - each reaction with obvious evolutionary value. Positive emotions also have evolutionary advantage. They "broaden and build." Experiencing positive emotions increases our survival chances because positive emotions broaden our intellectual, physical, and social resources and build reserves for us to draw upon. Experiencing positive emotions increases our drive for exploration and discovery and provides the basis for positive social interactions. When we experience positive emotions, we become more tolerant, expansive, and creative. The more positive emotion we experience the more open to new ideas and new experiences we become. Negative emotions narrow our perspective to focus only on the immediate threat. When negative emotions are experienced, we withdraw, freeze, or protect. As we experience positive emotions, we feel safe and engage in active, playful exploration, and discovery. Negative emotions contract and positive emotions expand. Positive emotions form the experiential foundation for mentally healthy people. Positive emotions provide a foundation for growth and exploration and build the intellectual, social, and physical capital for further growth and development. When we experience negative emotions, they tell us to deal with what is wrong and eliminate it. When we experience positive emotions, we start looking for the virtues of what is happening. We become constructive, generous, un-defensive, and open to seeing possibilities. Experiencing positive emotions gives us an entirely different way of thinking from a negative mood. A negative mood makes us attentive to threats in our environment and focuses our thoughts on protection. A positive mood moves us into thoughts about growth and development, exploration and discovery. Positive Emotions Build Resources and Capital for the Future Positive emotions build the resources and capital that will become the basis for growth and development in years to come. When we feel and think positive, we reach outward and broaden our resources through exploration and discovery. We are more creative, think quicker, and do not succumb to premature closure or other forms of superficial intellectual processing. Depressed people experience what is called a "downward spiral" of negative emotions. Depressed emotions call forth negative memories that feed more negative thoughts, that feed more negative memories, that feed more depressed emotions. Breaking this downward spiral is crucial to stopping the depression. Psychologists have found what they call an upward spiral of positive emotion. Positive emotions produce a different way of thinking and acting. The thinking becomes creative and broad-minded, and the actions become adventurous and exploratory. This increased creativity and exploration results in greater expansion. Often negative emotions and thinking are taken more seriously because traditionally they have been believed to be the evolutionary backbone of human motivation. It was believed that people are motivated primarily to avoid experiencing negative emotions and that positive motivation was merely superficial. But positive emotions are just as real, authentic and important as negative emotions and are equally important for development, growth, and success. Positive Emotions Lead to More Successful Interactions in the World Experiencing more positive emotion results in more friendships, stronger love, better physical health, and more successful interactions in the world accompanied by a sense of mastery. Growth, positive development, and creative and successful interactions in the world (i.e. mental health) may have their foundations in the experience of positive emotions and thinking. Happy people tend to view themselves subjectively as more successful in the world. Happy people remember more good events than actually happened and forget more of the bad events that happened Happy people see success as lasting, personal and pervasive and failure as impersonal, temporary and specific. Happy people may lose a bit of realism but this does not lock them into ineffective functioning. Happy people are more likely to switch tactics when involved in a task that appears to be failing. In the normal course of events, happy people rely on their tried and true positive past experiences while less happy people are more skeptical. However, when events are threatening, happy people, more readily than less happy people, switch tactics and adopt a skeptical and analytical frame of mind. Happy people can deal better with adversity. Happier people are markedly more satisfied with their jobs than less happy people. Happiness inceases productivity and results in higher income. Happiness also makes gainful employment and higher income more likely. Both adults and children who are in a good mood select higher goals, perform better, and persist longer on a variety of tasks. Happy People Are Healthier Positive emotions result in better physical health. Positive emotions are predictive of health and longevity and protect people from the wear and tear of aging. Positive emotions strongly predict who lives longer, who dies earlier, and who will become disabled. Happy people are more likely to seek out and make use of health risk information. Happy people have better health habits, lower blood pressure, and stronger immune systems than less happy people. They endure pain better and take more health and safety precautions when threatened. Positive emotions and thinking prolong life and improve health. Happy People Are More Connected With Others Very happy people differ markedly from average people and from unhappy people in one principle way - a rich and fulfilling social life and more secure relationships. Happy people have more close and casual friends, are more likely to be married, and are more involved in group activities than unhappy people. Happy people are also more altruistic. When we are in a good mood we are less focused on ourselves, we like others more and we want to be kinder and share our good fortune with others. However, when we are experiencing negative emotions and thinking we become distrustful, turn inward and become defensive about our own needs. Focusing on Positive Emotions Positive emotions undo negative emotions and reduce the negative physical and psychological stresses of negative experiences. Negative emotions tell you that you are facing a win-loss encounter and need to take steps to engage with the obstacles. Positive emotions and thinking allow you to see a potential win-win situation. Positive emotions and thinking guide you to be more expansive, tolerant, and creative and maximize the social, intellectual, and physical benefits of the situation. Positive emotions and thoughts provide both the fuel and the raw material for experiencing more growth and development, more exploration and discovery, more mastery and successful interactions in the world. So, yes, there is a great deal of value in feeling good and positive thinking. Go for it!
article source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_6138.shtml
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Do You Need to Be Successful?
Success is different thing to different people. It may be making a million dollar from business venture. It may be achieving the position of influence and respect in one's corporate career. It may be climbing the tallest mountain in the world. It may be simply being happy at whatever one is doing, no matter how insignificance it may be to other people. It may be to fulfill one's passion of pursuing a hobby as a career, such as cutting the first music album or publishing the first book. I have seen people in high corporate positions, living unfulfilled life year after year engaging in the rat race, only looking forward to retirement in the distance future. I have seen hawker store helpers who seem to live simply but happily, always serving customers with joy and passion. I have seem people who quit from a successful corporate job to teach yoga, go teaching, be a writer or painter, etc. Are they successful? The real question you should ask yourself is, does it matter whether you are successful or not? If the answer is yes, then the next question is: Who does it matter, yourself or other people? Most people wanted success not for themselves, but for others. It is hence important to ask yourself: What kind of success do you want? Are you asking deep inside your heart how you define success? Is your definition of success dependent on other people's perceptions? I always remember and concur with what the singer, Kit Chan said about success: "Success is the courage to pursue one's dream boldly". Despite this inspiration verse being over used and may even sounds like a cliché, I like the beauty of its simplicity. >From more than twenty years experience of pondering, searching and achieving varies level of success, I have found that success is never a static concept. It takes different forms at different stages of one's life. While success can have many definitions, the sure fire way of failure is to be too mindful of how others perceive and judge our success and failure. This is unfortunately the weakness of many people. Few people dare to be different. Most people tend to like to bask in the comfort of being among the majority, doing the things that most people do and feel accepted. It is human nature to want to feel accepted. After all, who wants to do anything that receive disapproval from everyone else? On the other hand, the need to conform to the majority view is often the killer for individuality. If one is afraid to be different, how can he ever achieve anything outstanding? The mainstream media likes to portray "successful people" as someone who has characteristically achieved certain level of wealth, power or fame in the society. And so people without a critical thinking mind, or the so-called unenlightened, would elect the pursuit of wealth, power and fame as the ultimate life goals. There is no greater misery than being trapped within the conventional perception of success. How many in high corporate positions find it almost impossible to free themselves from the bondage of the endless energy-sapping ego games in the corporate world, regardless of how much their inner-self detest it? People who are more spiritually attuned started searching inward to ask what they really want in their life. Their drive and courage to find true freedom eventually prompted them to take bold and criticism-defying actions to embark on a new direction in life. In takes a considerable amount of courage because their friends, colleagues, spouse, or parents would likely not approved of what they choose to do. Nevertheless, with enlightened faith, they forge ahead to pursue their dreams. With unwavering determination, they finally find the real success in life, which brings them true happiness and fulfillment. To them, they are "retired" because they are no longer working for a living. Instead, they are indulging in a hobby or passion and make a comfortable living out of it. As for those who are deeply entrenched in the trapping of corporate "success" and perks, it is rare that many would take on a route of enlightenment. Instead, they would usually motivate themselves further to strive harder, become more politically savvy and meaner, so that they are able to acquire whatever status and wealth that society expected of them. So they thought. The undeniable reality is, their soul is dying inside. They may know it, for which they choose to ignore because the "price is simply to high to let go". Or, they may not even be aware, having been hopelessly hypnotized by the society's definition of success, and totally oblivious to the nagging voice within. It is not difficult to observe this irony of life simply from the amount of information in the media about retirement planning. The reason why everybody is talking about retirement is because "work" is being defined as something unpleasant and something which people will choose not to do if they can afford to. Pursuing hobbies do not fall into the category of work. Hence, everybody is planning long and hard to "hopefully have enough to retire one day". Some invest their hard earn money in unit trust investment, having tremendous faith in the fund management experts. Some who do not foresee themselves able to ever earn enough to retire will resort to buying TOTO, Big Sweep or 4D. These are the perfectly legal means of achieving the goal of retirement. I really respect these people who, despite being disadvantaged in the competitive game of life, never give up on the chance to find improvement in their life. So, what is your definition of success? Are your goals of success meant to gain applauds and admiration from others? Or to bring fulfillment deep within your heart? Or simply to stay safely among the mainstream lifestyle of the society? Defining success is far more difficult than attaining it. People often chase after their tail for success, always seems to be reaching but never. Many had spend a considerable number of years achieving what they started out to do but find little meaning or fulfillment when they finally reached their goals. If you have not ask yourself this question because you are "too busy", it is worthwhile to give some priority to it now. If you have long been dissatisfied with you job, it is a tell tale sign that you may be climbing the wrong ladder of success. It is a poor choice to numb yourself to the situation. Everyone have within his reach to live a successful life, if only he can define it.
article source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_6143.shtml
article source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_6143.shtml
The Secrets of Real Happiness
As mentioned in my previous post What Is Real Happiness, there are paradoxes surrounding wealth and happiness, which drive everyone to its pursuit. The reality is, there are sufficient evidences to show a significant disconnect between wealth and well-being. Based on the research findings, you will know that happiness can be elusive and yet attainable. The following are suggestions on how you can increase your happiness: Realize That Wealth Does Not Create Permanent Happiness. People adapt to changing circumstances—even to wealth or a disability. Thus wealth is like health: Its utter absence breeds misery, but having it (or any circumstance we long for) doesn't guarantee happiness. - "The mind of every man, in a longer or shorter time, returns to its natural and usual state of tranquillity. In prosperity, after a certain time, it falls back to that state; in adversity, after a certain time, it rises up to it." - Adam Smith, The Theory of Moral Sentiments, 1759 Be Your Own Time Master. Happy people are master of time management, and hence often feel in control of their lives. It helps to set goals and break them into daily aims. Although we often overestimate how much we will accomplish in any given day (leaving us frustrated), we generally underestimate how much we can accomplish in a year, given just a little progress every day. Be Happy, Even Deliberately. We can deliberately put ourselves into a frame of mind by starting it with physical action. When you feel moody, look at the mirror and put on a bright smile to yourself. It ignites the energy of joyful emotion, which makes you feel better and trigger subsequent positive moods. When you meet people outside, your energy can be felt by people and brings forth mutually contagious effect. So put on a happy face. Talk like someone with high self-esteem, optimistic, and outgoing. Once you go through the motions, it can trigger the emotions. As Mary Kay said: “Fake it until you make it” Align Work with Passion. As mentioned in my previous post Experiencing Flow State, happy people often are in a psychological state called “in the zone” called "in the flow" – when one is completely absorbed in a task that challenges them yet without overwhelming them. Most of the expensive forms of leisure (such as sitting on a yacht) provide less flow experience than gardening, playing musical instruments, painting, keeping fish, socializing, or craftwork. Be Physically Active. It has become a known fact the exercise not only promotes health and energy, it is also an antidote for mild depression and anxiety. Go for gym, jogging, swimming, yoga, aerobics, Pilates, and anything that works your body and gets you perspiring. Sound minds reside in sound bodies. Read my post “Why I Wake Up At 6 am Every Morning” on my experiences benefiting from daily morning run. Have Enough Rest. Happy people live active vigorous lives yet reserve time for renewing sleep and solitude. Many people suffer from sleep deficiency, with resulting fatigue, diminished alertness, and gloomy moods. If insomnia is the cause, try to restore balance in life, exercise regularly, have proper diet, get a massage, practice yoga and meditation. Give Priority to Close Relationships. Intimate friendships with those who care deeply about you can help you weather difficult times. Confiding is good for soul and body. Resolve to nurture your closest relationships: to not take those closest to you for granted, to display to them the sort of kindness that you display to others, to affirm them, to play together and share together. Focus Beyond Self. Reach out to those in need. Happiness increases helpfulness (those who feel good do good). As true as the saying “what goes around comes around”, doing good also makes one feel good. Being opened to the needs of surrounding people also help you avoid dwelling in your own misery. Be Grateful. People who keep a gratitude journal—who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, senses, natural surroundings, and so on.) experience heightened well-being. - "I cried because I had no shoes," states a Persian saying, "until I met a man who had no feet." Learn Not To Compare. Most of the misery of people comes from comparing with others who are better or have more. This is the definite source of discontent and a perpetual sense of lack. It may continue to drive you to achieve more, but for the wrong reasons. It is like the rat on the treadmill, constantly chasing its tail until exhaustion. It puts a person on over-drive without any sense of fulfillment. If there is any happiness from achieving, it is often fleeting. When you stop comparing with others, you get started on the path of freedom. - "Our poverty became a reality. Not because of our having less, but by our neighbors having more." - Will Campbell, Brother to a Dragonfly, 1977 Nurture Your Spiritual Self. For many people, faith provides a support community, a reason to focus beyond self, and a sense of purpose and hope. Study after study finds that actively religious people are happier and that they cope better with crises. May you live a life of pure and permanent happiness!
article source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_6160.shtml
article source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_6160.shtml
Success Is Simple!
Are you determined to become a mega success story? Then this article will show you the simplest formula for reaching heights of success you've only dreamed about. Remember that simplicity is not the same thing as ineffectiveness, for true power lies in simplicity. As the saying goes, "Common sense is not always common practice." Let's begin. Psychologist Arnold H. Glasgow has said, "Success is simple: do what's right, the right way, at the right time." That's a simple concept, yet very profound. The quote lays out three easy steps to simplify success, but those steps must be integrated to work effectively ' you can't afford to skip even one of them. The first step is to do what is right. If you skip the FIRST and most important step, you're eliminating your chances to succeed. But how do you know what is right for you? Simply put, the decisions you make every day must match with your true purpose in life. Every action you take must enhance and solidify who you are and what you were meant to accomplish in this life. When you have a purpose, your actions naturally become more powerful because they are focused and united to fulfill a sole objective. Consequently, you achieve faster and better results. The second step is to do it the right way. If you skip this step, you'll find yourself in a never-ending loop of trial and error where you'll just keep re-inventing the wheel, instead of re-inventing yourself. It has often been said that the easiest way to become successful is to find someone who is already successful and follow in his footsteps. Take that advice and learn from the best. Look for successful people who have reached the same level of success you want to reach, and learn from both their mistakes and their accomplishments. Imitate their lives, learn their methods, and discover their secrets. The third and last simple step to success is to choose the right time. Take small actions every single day that lead you toward fulfilling your purpose. Prepare yourself so that when the right opportunity presents itself, you'll be ready to seize it and ride it to unimaginable levels of success. The right time to start taking action is NOW. Even the smallest action can make a big difference. Don't worry about the magnitude of your every move; focus instead on the collective power of all your small actions combined. "Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time." Do what is right by discovering your true purpose in life. Do it the right way by learning from the best. Do it at the right time by taking small actions and preparing yourself to seize opportunity when it presents itself. Can success be that simple? It can be if you start NOW!
article source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_6185.shtml
article source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_6185.shtml
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