For many of years, philosophers, behaviorists, psychologists, and psychiatrists have been trying to understand human behavior. Many have come close to understanding how behavior is imprinted or store into the body, but many lacked the last details to form a complete picture.
It eluded many of them because they had psychological issue that they had not resolved. And, this got in their way of seeing the true secret of human behavior.
Many of the therapies that exist today still do not address the real cause of behavior. Instead they teach their clients how to continue to suppress their feelings so that they can control their behavior. This is an injustice to the client because in time suppressing feeling leads to suffering from severe physical and mental illness.
But, I will tell you now, that to change your behavior is not easy and if you decide to do something about it, it will take a long time. But if you do nothing to start changing yourself, you will remain the same as you are now, for the rest of your life.
If you feel at peace, don't harbor ill thoughts about other people, have good relationships with people, don't get upset quickly, and have plenty of patience, and then you may be a well balance person. However, many of you may think that you're ok, and that you don't have any problems. There are very few people that don't have behavioral issues to deal with and those that say they don't are usually in denial. If you have addictions - drugs, smoking, and alcohol, sexual - or other excessive or annoying behaviors you have probably heard that the failure rate of therapies that target them to be 80% or more.
To clear addictions and even well established destructive behaviors takes more than what these psychological therapeutic sessions can give you. Most therapies are designed to suppress the addictive urges or behaviors that you have. This suppression does not cure your addictions and has side effects that can create other addictions and diminish your long-term health.
A true therapy works to release and eliminate the energy of your suppressed traumatic memories or experiences. Most all behavior originates in childhood. If you were raised with love and affection, then most of your behavior is probably normal. Unfortunately many people believe that they were raised in a loving family when this was not the case.
If you were raised in a family where you receive verbal and physical abuse then this trauma has been imprinted into your whole body and is held there by a system called the defense mechanism. It is this system that works all your life to hold this trauma suppressed so that you can function and believe that everything is ok when it really is not.
It is your responsibility to learn what causes behavior and to deal with any bad or unwanted behavior you have. Your defense mechanism cannot keep all your past trauma suppressed all of your life. It allows some of this trauma to leak out because in cannot hold it in check, since it becomes weaker in time. The danger in suppress trauma is that it damages your health in places where it is stored in your body. And as it leaks out it fuels your bad behavior.
Look for more articles and information that I have written on behavior.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
To Have a Dream, Living Without a Goal
This is our story how we change everything in live we had, bought a gypsy carriage and two horses and went away. We can recommend the choices we have made to everybody. Because it is possible to give a friendly goodbye to the boss, leave your house, to take beloved ones and belongings with you and follow your dream.
We (John and Thea) are a married couple for two whole years now. We met each other, four years ago on the Internet. We made immediately “the click.” After three months, we already moved John’s computer to my house. Soon the computer followed by books and books, his son, and even more books. My own two kids really get along with John and his son. They are all above twenty and independent young people.
At that time John was not working. Quit his Psychiatric nurse job looking for a different perspective on work in generally.
He found this later when he starts up his own coaching practice. I worked with juvenile delinquencies, specifically with young dropouts from school. Nice jobs, good perspectives for both of us, no worries about that at all. In my free time, I was re-building my house, planning to live there for a couple of years. It changes for the better. Together we bought a house in Breda. A small town at the South of Holland. Beautiful place, nice surrounding. The house big enough for two out of three children. One was studying already.
After a short break in the country, we start fantasizing about our dreams in the nearby future. We start to think about these questions: What do we REALLY want in our lives?
What do we really NEED?
What do we have and DON’T really want it ANYMORE?
What are the subjects we want to EXPLORE in the future?
Is there a GOAL to go for?
Is there something in the past that we have done and want to do it AGAIN?
Is there a reason TO WAIT till later?
Is there any urgent reason not to DO IT NOW?
Will that reason later also exist?
Will we die and regret that we DIDN’T do THIS?
Why work to pay for a car that you need for your work to pay the mortgage etc.?
Is there no other way of living?
Live is too beautiful to be limited in goals.
John has a dream of working with horses again. In the past, he worked with them on an unusual way. One horse in front of a car, collecting leftovers and bring them to a cow farm. The ecological environment movement was booming business in Holland at that time. John got involved in that and had a good time for almost two years. His memories about that time are lively and inspiring. Thea, ready for a change in life with less responsibility more freedom in lifestyle, gets enthusiastic by the idea of working with horses.
Full swing.
We unmistakably go “the full swing”.
To start a new life, we need “new space”, in our mind and thoughts in let go off all security. Somewhere along the line, we came up with the idea of applying our thoughts on the mainland. In a special way: resign from our jobs, cancel the practice, and buy two horses and a wagon.
That means, sell our house, quit jobs and sell all we have or bring it to charity.
Full freedom to do what we want or what will come up in the future.
The money comes from the house we sell. That is for sure. About our jobs, we can be short. We both have the qualities, if necessary, to start al over again. The skills required for our jobs we still have and can only involve with the experiences we will meet. The so-called securities in life did not fall from the sky. We both work hard for that and will do so again if necessary.
First, we looked in Ireland for a place where we could live and work, to fulfil our dream, further away from the busy life in Holland. We had the plan to settle here, life in the country, working with horses. Ireland is actually one of the most expensive countries to live in within Europe. Therefore, that was not quite it.
Behold the ingredients for the Slow Express Journey, a project in which only the direction is set and not a goal.
The goal will unfold itself and afterwards we might be able to formulate it.
How this will end up in a world that is entirely submit to the regime of purpose?
article source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_6178.shtml
We (John and Thea) are a married couple for two whole years now. We met each other, four years ago on the Internet. We made immediately “the click.” After three months, we already moved John’s computer to my house. Soon the computer followed by books and books, his son, and even more books. My own two kids really get along with John and his son. They are all above twenty and independent young people.
At that time John was not working. Quit his Psychiatric nurse job looking for a different perspective on work in generally.
He found this later when he starts up his own coaching practice. I worked with juvenile delinquencies, specifically with young dropouts from school. Nice jobs, good perspectives for both of us, no worries about that at all. In my free time, I was re-building my house, planning to live there for a couple of years. It changes for the better. Together we bought a house in Breda. A small town at the South of Holland. Beautiful place, nice surrounding. The house big enough for two out of three children. One was studying already.
After a short break in the country, we start fantasizing about our dreams in the nearby future. We start to think about these questions: What do we REALLY want in our lives?
What do we really NEED?
What do we have and DON’T really want it ANYMORE?
What are the subjects we want to EXPLORE in the future?
Is there a GOAL to go for?
Is there something in the past that we have done and want to do it AGAIN?
Is there a reason TO WAIT till later?
Is there any urgent reason not to DO IT NOW?
Will that reason later also exist?
Will we die and regret that we DIDN’T do THIS?
Why work to pay for a car that you need for your work to pay the mortgage etc.?
Is there no other way of living?
Live is too beautiful to be limited in goals.
John has a dream of working with horses again. In the past, he worked with them on an unusual way. One horse in front of a car, collecting leftovers and bring them to a cow farm. The ecological environment movement was booming business in Holland at that time. John got involved in that and had a good time for almost two years. His memories about that time are lively and inspiring. Thea, ready for a change in life with less responsibility more freedom in lifestyle, gets enthusiastic by the idea of working with horses.
Full swing.
We unmistakably go “the full swing”.
To start a new life, we need “new space”, in our mind and thoughts in let go off all security. Somewhere along the line, we came up with the idea of applying our thoughts on the mainland. In a special way: resign from our jobs, cancel the practice, and buy two horses and a wagon.
That means, sell our house, quit jobs and sell all we have or bring it to charity.
Full freedom to do what we want or what will come up in the future.
The money comes from the house we sell. That is for sure. About our jobs, we can be short. We both have the qualities, if necessary, to start al over again. The skills required for our jobs we still have and can only involve with the experiences we will meet. The so-called securities in life did not fall from the sky. We both work hard for that and will do so again if necessary.
First, we looked in Ireland for a place where we could live and work, to fulfil our dream, further away from the busy life in Holland. We had the plan to settle here, life in the country, working with horses. Ireland is actually one of the most expensive countries to live in within Europe. Therefore, that was not quite it.
Behold the ingredients for the Slow Express Journey, a project in which only the direction is set and not a goal.
The goal will unfold itself and afterwards we might be able to formulate it.
How this will end up in a world that is entirely submit to the regime of purpose?
article source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_6178.shtml
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